Breathe Me
by alovethatconsumesyou
Summary: Set after 3x04. "Isaac was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't know where he was going; he just let his legs walk and subconsciously decide where to take him, because he didn't want to face the reality that he had no real place he could call home". Scott/Isaac with some Scott/Allison. How can you decide when you love two people simultaneously? Warning: Some strong language!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! It's been a long time, I know, but I've been working on this for a while and I had to share it. It's already on my Ao3 account and has been for a couple of days, so you might have already seen it there on my account with the same name :) Anywayyyyy: I never really shipped Scisaac/McLahey until this season and I'm sorry but it may be the hottest pairing alive! Tyler Posey and Daniel freakin Sharman are both absolutely beautiful men *cries inside* :P This isn't one of them fluffy Scott heals Isaac's scars fanfiction. It's kinda sad in places and Isaac has a rough time... but don't worry! Because "good people will always find happiness at the end". **

**There are a number of songs that inspired this/helped me cure writers' block/are just freaking awesome songs that you need to listen to while reading this (or reading other things) and they are:**

**Breathe Me - Sia (this is where the title comes from and is probably the most haunting and thought-provoking song I've ever heard. It just screams Isaac to me)**

**Black Flies - Ben Howard **

**Another Love - Tom Odell **

**Family - Noah Gunderson**

**Latch - Sam Smith (Acoustic Version without Disclosure) **

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf or any of the actors (even though I wish I did) **

* * *

Isaac was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't know where he was going; he just let his legs walk and subconsciously decide where to take him, because he didn't want to face the reality that he had no real place to call home. There was his old house a few blocks back, empty and abandoned, waiting for him to return one day. The house was untouched after his father's death; the scars were still too fresh to contemplate moving in and changing things. His father's scent still lingered about the place, triggering painful memories that Isaac tried to keep locked away in the part of his brain that wouldn't remember them.

Like Derek throwing him out, telling him that it's too difficult to look after both him and Cora. That really surprised him, because Isaac tried his best to keep out of Derek's hair and Derek knew how badly Isaac had been let down by his father. Derek fucking knew this, but he still threw him out, he let him down too. And when Isaac asked him why, when Isaac asked for the reason, Derek just exploded, triggering another memory. The last ever memory Isaac has of his father, of his father erupting and throwing a glass at him, not caring if he maimed or missed. Isaac could react, but there was nothing he could do; Derek is stronger, just like his father was always stronger. Isaac just closed his eyes and wiped away the tear that was falling down his cheek. He picked up his bag of belongings – a single bag, a single fucking bag of the things that belonged to him in his seventeen years on the planet. If things weren't so hopelessly tragic, he would probably start to laugh.

Isaac started running and thoughts began racing around his brain. Images and sounds merged into one. His father yelling words at him, the sounds of his friends as they were hurt, the hatred in peoples' eyes, the whispers of people in school. Isaac just wanted to block it out, to forget, to have a reason to forget.

"Isaac, what's the matter? Is everything all right?"

Isaac opened his eyes and found himself outside Scott's house. Melissa McCall was standing at the doorstep with a cup of tea and a magazine in one hand and a smile on her face. He didn't realise where he was headed and he didn't know why he was here of all places. Sure Scott and he had formed a bond and he trusted Scott, but what if Stiles was here? What if Scott told him to go away?

"You know what? I think you should come in; you're drenched and probably freezing. Go on upstairs, Scott is in his room finishing off homework and he has plenty of clothes you can borrow." She smiled warmly again and reached out her hand to pull him inside.

Isaac just looked at her and tried not to cry, she was such a sweet lady. She petted his cheek and pointed to the stairs. Isaac took the steps two at a time and walked slowly through the hall before reaching Scott's door. He knocked twice, unsure of what to do next. Knots twisted in his stomach as he thought about Scott's possible reaction.

"Come in, mom" Scott called, shutting down his laptop and turning round at the same time that the door opened.

"Not exactly" Isaac whispered with a small smile on his face.

"Isaac! What's wrong? You're soaked" Scott nearly shouted in surprise.

"Long story and I really don't want to talk about it right now. Can I stay here tonight... would that be okay?" Isaac asked, his voice soft and his eyes broken.

Scott felt his heart break as Isaac asked those last four words.

"Of course you can, don't be stupid. Here, have these," he threw a shirt and jeans on the bed, "The water is warm so you can have a shower."

Isaac nodded and made his way to the bathroom, leaving the clothes on the bed. Scott noticed he left them and walked to the bathroom, but the sound of running water stopped him. He turned round and bumped into his mom.

"He can stay here as long as he needs," Melissa whispered, "It's no problem. I think something happened with Derek, that's who he was staying with, right?"

"I don't know" Scott replied, honestly. "He didn't say..."

"Well don't push him, okay? He just needs some comfort and y-"

Scott pointed to his ears and nodded abruptly, "I know, mom."

Melissa smiled at her son, "You know how much I love you, don't you?"

Scott walked back to his room and turned around before speaking, "Yes, I know."

...

Isaac emerged from the shower half an hour later, smelling distinctly of vanilla and lemon and Scott sniffed appreciatively. Unfortunately Isaac has grabbed one of his mom's towels by accident and he entered the room with a very short towel, much to his embarrassment.

"You left your clothes in here," Scott said, "Don't worry; I won't look while you get changed."

Scott placed a hand over his eyes and peeked through jokingly. Isaac wasn't aware of this and dropped his towel to the floor, displaying everything to Scott. Scott yelped and turned around quickly, feeling stupid.

"Err, is everything okay?" Isaac asked.

"Fine, I just stood on something... I, uh, don't have much room, but you can sleep in my bed tonight. Just until we can get the spare room sorted for you."

Isaac's mouth opened wide, "You'd do that? For me?"

Scott smiled, "Of course, dude. You should never have to be on your own, Isaac."

He blushed and stared at Scott, "T-thank you, I just didn't know where to go. It was so c-cold and Derek..." He trailed off and Scott pulled him into a hug.

"Hey, it's okay. Talking about it probably makes it worse; you should just sleep for now."

They settled down on the bed, with Isaac's head leaning on Scott's stomach and Scott rubbing circles on the taller boy's cheek. Isaac mumbled a few incoherent words and fell into a deep sleep. Scott continued circling his cheek and reached over the bedside table to find his copy of Lord of the Flies he was supposed to be reading for English.

...

Scott opened his eyes the next morning to find a long arm draped around his back. He slowly sat up, wondering what happened the night before. Beside him was a snoring Isaac and everything clicked into place. He lifted his phone to check what the time was. It was half eleven in the morning and he should have been in school two and a half hours ago. Beside him was a note from his mom – 'Make sure he's okay. Mum x'.

Scott nodded appreciatively, glad how his mom was so concerned about Isaac. He lightly patted Isaac on the head, waking the sleeping boy up gently.

Isaac's body went rigid, "Scott?"

"Right here buddy" Scott answered.

They both got up quickly and got changed, not able to look each other quite in the eye. Scott cleared his throat and Isaac spoke quickly.

"Do you think we get what we deserve?"

Scott just looked at him, "Uh, what?"

Isaac asked again, "Do you think we get what we deserve? Like karma?"

Scott took a while to answer, trying to find the right word to use.

"I'm not sure... I mean, the verisimilitude of a reaction happening based on how good or bad the action was depends on if you believe in a higher power correcting every right and wrong. I'd like to think that you 'reap what you sow', but it seems like bad things do only happen to good people, the people who least deserve it."

Isaac looked impressed, "Glad to see you're using yesterdays 'word of the day'," he laughed and continued, "but I guess you're right. I just wonder why nothing ever seems to work out."

"There are things that work out for you, though. I mean, the bite didn't kill you, you always get good grades and you made it onto the lacrosse team. When it comes to you, you can do whatever you want to do. It's just other people, Isaac, that let you down." Scott said.

"I guess..." Isaac agreed.

"You know what I think? People say that you hurt the people you love, but I call that bullshit. No one has the right to hurt someone they're supposed to care for. I promise that I will never hurt you, okay?"

Scott held his hand out as a sign of a deal. Isaac smirked and shook it firmly.

"I'm holding you to that, McCall."

And in that moment, both boys felt an invisible binding to that one statement.

...

The days and weeks passed and Isaac found himself still at the McCall household, not that either Scott or Melissa minded. Melissa found Isaac to be a cleaner and more helpful version of Scott, and Scott found it great fun to have someone who was even worse than him at video games to play with. Their evenings consisted of homework and then hours playing Xbox, not that either boy minded.

Someone who did mind was Stiles. He found his time with his best friend to be less and any time Scott was there, Isaac was there too. It wasn't like Stiles didn't like Isaac – of course he did – he just wanted his nights with his best friend back.

One night Scott returned home a lot later than usual. Isaac asked him if everything was okay and Scott just mumbled "Allison". Isaac nodded, understanding Scott and Allison's intense and sometimes volatile relationship.

"I think this calls for something a little stronger," Isaac smirked after both boys finished drinking a can of soda. He went into the bag upstairs that was reserved for parties and lifted out a bottle of Cactus Jacks and winked.

Scott groaned, but grabbed the bottle at the same time. Maybe getting drunk would take his mind of things.

A few hours and bottles later and both boys were lying on the floor of the living room, pretty thankful that Melissa was working the night shift at the hospital.

"She dumped me, for good this time." Scott blurted out, his face screwing up.

"What? I'm sure that's not the truth, you'll get back together soon." Isaac's voice was slurred and faintly uninterested.

"I don't know. I thought she was the one! I thought we were gonna get married and have little werewolf puppies and that she was my mate and everything was going to be perfect."

Isaac frowned, "But you're seventeen years old, Scott. You've dated one person and you're calling it quits on the rest of the population?"

"There's no one else, not really." Scott paused, "I mean, there are other people I find attractive, but I don't love them. I love her."

The words caught Isaac off guard and he sat up, propping himself on his elbows and turning towards Scott. Everything was blurry and disorientated; it was the first time he'd got properly drunk in ages. Scott was beside him, so close he could practically taste Scott's breath. Scott was sitting with his head slightly up and Isaac moved closer, dying to touch him.

"Isaac?"

Isaac ignored him, moving closer until his hand was on Scott's leg, rubbing circles just like Scott had done to his cheek. Isaac's head angled and he moved in to lick Scott's neck from top to bottom and lightly pepper it with wet kisses.

"What are you doing?"

Isaac silenced him by placing a finger to Scott's lips and Scott shut up pretty quickly. Isaac began biting the skin on his neck hard; it wouldn't mark due to his healing ability and Scott found himself loving it even more. Isaac moved his head again and was face to face with Scott. Both guys just looked at each other for a few seconds before moving closer. Isaac's lips met Scott's and parted, their tongues meeting and dancing together. Scott gasped and found himself even more turned on than he would have thought. It was a sloppy and drunken make-out and Isaac found himself wanting more.

"Clothes... .go." The words coming out all mashed together.

Scott complied easily, his shirt and jeans slipping off quickly. Isaac looked down and he wasn't wearing any underwear.

"What?" Scott asked

"Nothing," Isaac laughed.

Isaac slipped out of his T-Shirt and chinos and Scott began kissing down his chest at varying pressure. He reached down to his boxers and hooked a finger underneath before pulling them down. Isaac reached a hand out and grabbed Scott's wrist.

"I don't think we sh-" Isaac panted.

"I want you so badly. So badly." Scott pleaded.

Isaac knew it was the alcohol, he knew that Scott was in a land where Isaac was Allison and Allison was everything. He didn't want to have sex with Scott while both of them were drunk and clearly out of their heads. He didn't want to have sex in the middle of the McCall living room and he certainly didn't want to lose his virginity to a drunken mistake.

He sat up and pushed Scott off him and Scott pouted, clearly upset at the lack of reciprocation from Isaac. He sighed and grabbed his shirt from the sofa, patting around in search of the blue shirt.

"You don't want me, that's it?" Scott accused harshly, his tone rising in his desperation and slight embarrassment at being turned down.

"You're drunk," Isaac retorted, "and completely in love with Allison - not me."

Scott's lip curled, "That's not true. You know you're hot and you know how much I care about you..."

Scott trailed off, unsure of what to say. Isaac found that the alcohol was wearing off too and he was beginning to think more clearly. He wondered if the same was for Scott, if what Scott was saying was actually true.

"So, you're what? Into me, into guys? You're gay?" Isaac asked sharply.

"No!"

Scott almost yelled, his voice raising a few decibels and his hands clenching into fists. Isaac just raised a single eyebrow.

"I don't know, okay? Just you." Scott finally admitted.

Isaac had been waiting for this moment, the moment that Scott McCall confessed his love or just desire for him. However, it didn't feel right; the moment was tainted by alcohol and the awkwardness in the air. Isaac found it hard to look at Scott, the obvious uncertainty and confusion ruining what was supposed to be jubilation.

"It's because we're both guys, isn't it?" Isaac asked

Scott just nodded, not wanting to say anything else. And Isaac understood, he understood because he'd found himself wondering the same for the past four months, ever since Scott freaking McCall entered his life and created little holes in his heart with his "I don't want you to get hurt" speeches. Maybe if one of them was a girl, or if things were different and they didn't live in a world of hatred and judgement, then maybe they could be together, maybe people would understand. Isaac understood what Scott was feeling, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. Being with Allison was the 'right' thing for him, the normal thing, but who said the normal thing is always the best? Isn't it about risk taking and chance, about trusting something with everything you have, about having faith, blind faith that something will work out even if the chances are against it.

Isaac wasn't a believer, and neither was Scott. They couldn't risk this, not knowing if it would work out or not. But when Scott put his hand on top of Isaac's and looked at him with his chocolate-brown puppy eyes, Isaac found himself freeing from the chains that were holding him back. He suddenly didn't care what other people thought, he didn't care if Scott was drunk or in love with Allison, and he didn't freaking care that he probably loved Scott more than Scott could ever love him.

Maybe Isaac was a believer after all.

...

Isaac woke up to the sounds of talking and a frying pan. He was still on the living room floor, obviously having fell asleep after his love-confession to Scott. Scott. _Crap_, he thought. His head was pounding, the light coming through from the sun was literally burning his eyes and he felt like death. He thought that being a werewolf made you immune to a hangover; obviously they had drank a lot last night. He scrambled to his feet quickly, not wanting Melissa to think him lazy or unhelpful.

"Scott? Melissa?" He called out, not sure whether to enter the kitchen or not.

"Kitchen," came Scott's reply.

Isaac entered the kitchen and Scott immediately turned his body to face away from him. He wasn't sure if it was in embarrassment or dislike and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know. Melissa smiled at him brightly and announced that she was going to bed because she was shattered, and that both boys had to clear the mess in the living room.

"I am pretty proud of you boys, though." She said, and Isaac and Scott both looked at each other in confusion.

"I mean," she continued, "you could have gone out last night and got drunk, but you decided to do it in the living room. At least you didn't get hurt or hurt anyone else... apart from my living room."

She smirked slightly, obviously not worried at their antics. They were teenage boys after all.

"You're going to tidy it up today while I sleep. If I wake up and there is a single stain on the carpet, I will kill both of you."

And with that she walked up the stairs, giggling to herself in amusement. She wasn't serious, but she loved their reaction to it.

As soon as Melissa left, Scott turned away from Isaac and opened the fridge door, taking out some orange juice. He poured himself a glass, his hands shaking, and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Scott?" Isaac called softly, but Scott just ignored him.

...

Isaac accepted that maybe Scott was just having a hard time processing; he was willing to accept that because any other explanation to why he was giving him the cold shoulder really wasn't going to cut it. They tidied up the living room for the rest of the day, not really speaking. Every time Isaac cracked a joke Scott would open his mouth, as if to reply, before shutting it just as quickly and returning to the job in hand. Isaac found that pretty hard to swallow.

Around quarter to three, Scott's phone began to ring and he was upstairs doing something. Isaac lifted it and of course, it was Allison. He pressed 'answer' button and held it to his ear.

"Scott?" a female voice came from the speaker.

"It's your lucky day, Allison. It's Isaac. Scott's upstairs, he'll be a minute. Did you want something?" Isaac's voice was sugary sweet, humouring the brunette.

"I, uh, called to see how he was... you know after yesterday. Isaac, I, um, think I made a mistake..." Allison stuttered.

Isaac's heart dropped and so did his desire to continue the conversation with Allison.

"I, er, have to go. Sorry. I'll get Scott to call you back later." He quickly hit 'end call' and looked at the phone in his lap.

Curiosity got the better of him and Isaac found himself snooping through Scott's messages. He found his messages to Allison and scrolled to the most recent ones... the ones from today.

'Allison, I really love you. I know we can make this work. Plz call me later. Scott x'

Sent at 08:36 this morning, the time was like a kick in the stomach for Isaac. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't notice Scott come down the stairs.

"Dude, what's wrong? Did Allison call?" Scott asked.

"Maybe, did you call Allison?" Isaac retorted.

"Dude! What did you say to her?" Scott asked again.

"You can't answer a question with another question, Scott. And she wanted to speak to you, but she got to speak to me. She-she wanted to talk about this."

He held the phone up, with Scott's text on the screen.

"I-I didn't-"

Isaac cut him off. "So what do you say? She's willing to give you another chance... isn't that what you want? You obviously love her, in your own strange way."

Scott just mouthed for a few seconds, unable to really say anything.

"I'm pretty certain what you'll say to her and I don't really want to hear it right now. What I really want to know is about last night. What was that for you? An experiment? Cause you don't experiment with people's feelings, Scott. You experiment with food and with clothes."

Isaac paused, catching his breath before continuing, "Is this what I am, the Allison back-up? Well, news flash, Scott, I am not a back-up."

He walked over to the cupboards and opened them.

"Hello? Are you hiding anyone else in here? Letting anyone else stay in your house while you screw with their emotions and then crawl back to your ex-girlfriend?"

Scott grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, "Stop talking, please. You-you know how I feel, Isaac. It's just... I love her, okay? No matter what I feel for you, I'll always feel something for her. I can't just ignore it and I can't just... I don't know."

Isaac nodded slowly, "I get it. Totally. I mean, I wouldn't pick me either."

And there it was - the hard exterior, the wall that Isaac always put up. He could only let people in so far, and then he would block them out or put on a sarcastic front. Isaac was trying his best to keep his wall strong and to not show Scott just how much he was really hurting. Scott noticed that sometimes the walls that seem the strongest are the ones that break with the slightest knock. And Isaac's walls have been knocked one too many times.

...

A few hours later, Melissa and Scott were in the living room and she was ecstatic at the cleanliness of her living room. She kissed Scott on the head and told him he was wonderful and called Isaac down to thank him. After a couple of minutes, Isaac came down the stairs carrying a few bags.

"Isaac?" Melissa asked, "What's wrong?"

Scott stood up quickly and left the room, not wanting to look at Isaac or his mom.

"I, uh, think it would be best if I return to Derek now. I'm so th-thankful for everything you've done for me, Melissa. You've been like a mother to me, but I just need to clear my head and I don't want to overstay my welcome." Isaac stuttered. He'd tried to prepare what to say to her, he'd tried to really convey how thankful he was towards her.

"Does this have something to do with Scott?" Melissa asked.

Isaac blushed faintly, "You should ask Scott and see what he thinks. I really should get g-going now; I don't wanna keep you back any longer."

"If it's what you want." Melissa just said and Isaac nodded.

It wasn't what he wanted, and with a heavy heart he walked out of the McCall home, probably the only home he'd ever been a part of.

...

Isaac once heard on television that the only way to get over heartbreak was separation, a clean break - 'If you can go for thirty days without speaking to the person, then you can go a lifetime' was the phrase he'd heard. Isaac hadn't spoken to Scott in over a month and the pain was still there.

They mostly avoided each other in school. If one of them was in the bathroom, the other would run out quickly, avoiding all eye contact. They would avoid each other's stares in the hallway and in classrooms. Stiles quickly learned to not mention Isaac to Scott, and the other werewolves knew not to mention Scott to Isaac.

Isaac settled back into his old routine before he was at the McCall's and Derek welcomed him back a little more warmly than he'd expected. Maybe Derek knew what happened between him and Scott. Nevertheless, Derek never mentioned it or hinted at anything, he just acted a lot nicer than usual. The pain didn't go away, it only intensified. Isaac found it weird because it wasn't like he lost Scott - Scott was never his to lose. Scott was Allison's and that was that.

Most nights, Isaac would wake up screaming, his old nightmares reoccurring with Scott taking a lead role. They would often end in Isaac being locked in the white freezer in his basement by Scott, not his father. He would yell and scream for hours, begging to be released. Scott would relent and open the freezer and Isaac would be met with an image of Allison and Scott gazing intently into each other's eyes. The pain slashed through Isaac's heart like a knife, cutting and destroying all feeling. Isaac wanted the pain to go away, he wanted to feel numb and emotionless, and he didn't want to feel like a fucking fifteen year old girl.

Isaac thought back to his first night staying with Scott and how Scott had promised him he would never hurt him. Isaac laughed at the memory, at how stupid and naive he was to believe Scott. Scott had called hurting someone you love 'bullshit' and had condemned people who did it, yet he did hit himself.

Isaac's thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Peter Hale in his room.

"I see you're still moping," he noted.

Isaac just scowled at the undead Hale.

"And I see you're still bottling your emotions up. That's going to make for a nice full moon tomorrow. I can't wait." Peter drawled, trying to get some reaction out of Isaac.

Isaac just looked past him, not saying anything.

"You can ignore me all you want. I still won't go away." Peter said.

"And what are you hoping to achieve? A black eye? A reaction? Go away, Peter. Not even your own nephew likes you, why don't you just leave?" Isaac snapped.

Peter smirked, "That's a bit harsh coming from the boy who was kicked out by the boy that refused to kill Deucalion because he didn't want to 'murder' anyone... but continue."

Isaac felt his blood boil and his grip on his human side slip. His fangs elongated and his eyes flashed amber.

"Your problem, Isaac, is that you can't handle the truth. You've been hurt, so now you always expect the worst or best of everyone else. We all aren't black and white like you; most of us contain shades of grey."

Peter paused before continuing, "And as for Scott? He's pining over you as much as you are pining over him. You're just both too stubborn to realise it."

...

A few days later, Isaac was reading in his room when someone knocked on the door abruptly.

"If you've come to lecture me again, Peter, then go to hell." Isaac called.

The door opened slowly and Scott was standing in the hall, looking unsure and scared.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

Isaac thought about slamming the door in his face for a second before nodding and patting the bed beside him.

"Sooo... what do you want?"

"I want to apologise. Is that okay?" Scott looked at Isaac intently.

"Uh, sure. You don't have to. I get it. Totally." Isaac said, mirroring the words he used against Scott the last time they spoke.

Scott spoke softly, "I want to. I mean, I need to. I need to tell you that I'm sorry for acting like a total asshole, for freaking out about drunkenly kissing you and about making you feel like you had to leave. I didn't mean for any of it to happen."

"I know," Isaac replied, "You freaked out at the possibility of being in love with another guy and you wanted to push that feeling as far away as possible, me being included in that."

Scott took a deep breath, "It's not just that - I love Allison. If I didn't have her, then maybe our ship would have sailed a long time ago, but I can't just jump ship at the chance of something a little bit different."

"You can be in love with two people at the same time, Scott. You just don't realise it and, hell, I don't blame you. I'm a guy and you're a guy, and everything about us shouldn't work. But it does, it works better than anything I know. You've just got to give it a chance."

Isaac was knocked and his walls came tumbling down, the bricks crumbling and turning to dust. His voice was low and he was pleading with Scott, he was fucking pleading for him to take a leap of faith and just believe in it. Believe in him, really. He knew it was in vain and he knew that Scott was just here to sort things out, to make sure that Isaac wasn't crazy or suicidal because that's just how fucking nice Scott is. Scott genuinely cares about people and that makes Isaac feel sick. He wants Scott to be an asshole, a real asshole who is selfish and uncaring... and Scott isn't, not really.

"If it wasn't for her, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm completely in love with her, then it would happen. You do know that? We're just mixed up, Isaac. Our timing is off, just a fraction." Scott said.

Our timing is off. That's a new one for Isaac. He felt the tears coming long before they made an appearance, and he wanted Scott out of his room and out of the house before they made an appearance.

"I think you need to leave," he said to Scott, quite rudely.

"I, uh, yeah maybe for the best," Scott said quickly.

Isaac walked Scott to the door without looking at him. He opened the door and spoke loudly, not really caring who heard.

"I've spent my whole life loving people who are incapable of loving me back, why would I think that you are any different?" Isaac asked, before slamming the door shut in Scott's face.

...

The next few hours were painful. Isaac took a shower, trying to cleanse his body and mind and not succeeding at either. Every time he closed his eyes, he could only see Scott and hear Scott's voice, low and in the background. Isaac wondered if this is how it felt to be insane and if it was, he wasn't sure if he hated it or loved it? The duration of time with Scott or his voice was a high, but the time after was a low. Each second of happiness was marred with hours of pain. Was the temptation worth it? Every time he closed his eyes, his body was telling him no, telling him to quit giving in and be strong... but being weak was so delicious sometimes.

But time passes, even if it passes slowly. Seconds combine into hours and hours combine into days and suddenly you find yourself sitting in Math on Friday afternoon when, a blink of an eye ago, you were in French on Friday morning.

School helped because Isaac was never in any of Scott's classes to be affected, really. It also kept his mind of things, albeit marginally. He could still smell Scott and hear his heartbeat throb painfully loudly in his ears, but it was manageable. Isaac promised himself that he would never take a breakdown in public; he would save it for the forest or the Hale bathroom where he could be as loud as he wanted without caring.

* * *

**This is all for Part I! Part II will be on the way sooooon (when I get enough reviews/happy thoughts) :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I wrote this incredibly long speech about how sad I am that this is OVER and I freaking pressed the wrong button and BAMMMMMMM: it's gone. So I'm gonna have to improvise and it's going to SUCK guys, but don't hate me. And I know, I say 'so' a lot. Shoot me. **

**Soooooooo, this is the end! I should probably be thanking lots of people for inspiring this, but I can't really think of anyone apart from John Green and his ridiculously sad books that have me questioning my very existence. I really need to get out more. **

**Is anyone else ridiculously excited for tonight's episode (3x07 - Currents)? Everyone on Tumblr keeps telling me that Isaac will die, but if he does I will be so angry. He's my second-favourite character (behind Stiles) and I just LOVE him. Maybe it's the fact that Daniel Sharman is so good looking... hmm. **

**Back on track and I really tried to keep Isaac as close to the Isaac in the TV show and not 'fandom-Isaac'. I also added some things about the Lahey family in a flashback, so be warned. You may cry. **

**Also, there are 2 flashbacks and the whole flashback is in italics (just a warning). **

**I don't really know what else to say, so yeah. Keep an eye out for my upcoming Scisaac fic that will be on here and AO3 in the next few weeks (hopefully). It's super long, super awesome and super angsty. I can't wait. **

**Warning: there may be some strong language and some angst. This is unbeta'd, so don't go too hard on me. And for all you guys who have gone through something like Isaac: you've got this far! So never give up, okay? Because you are wonderful and amazing and you are the ONLY YOU! There is no one like you on this planet and, you know what? That is freaking amazing. **

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

* * *

Ouch I have lost myself again  
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,  
Yeah I think that I might break  
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small and needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me

- Breathe Me, Sia

* * *

"I think-I think when it's all over,  
It just comes back in flashes, you know?  
It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.  
It just all comes back. But he never does.  
I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen.  
It's not really anything he said or anything he did,  
It was the feeling that came along with it.  
And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again.  
But I don't know if I should."

- Taylor Swift

* * *

"Hey, uh, Isaac. How are you doing?"

Isaac rolled over on his bed to see Stiles at his doorway smiling at him. He groaned and rolled over again to the opposite direction, hoping that Stiles would get the picture and leave him alone. Stiles wasn't exactly his favourite person in the world and Isaac didn't think he would be able to handle a particularly strong dose of the tactless human.

"Well aren't you just a little fluffy bunny today," Stiles muttered under his breath, apparently forgetting that Isaac could hear him.

That was strange, Isaac noted. Because Stiles practically lived with Scott too, just like he-he had done. Stiles clearly forgot that they could hear every little mutter and murmur they uttered.

"I'm just not really particular to your face. No offence or anything," Isaac said, smirking after he finished speaking.

"No offence taken, dude. You can sit there with a sour face for the next twenty minutes until I knock some sense into you and then you are free. Deal?"

Isaac nodded once, but didn't say anything. Before Stiles spoke, he looked around Isaac's room and was faintly surprised by what he saw.

The room was immaculate; there was not a hair out of place. Books and notepads neatly lined a shelf, clothes were folded or on a hanger, and his bathroom essentials were on his dressing table. There was no sign of a moody teenager living here.

Derek must love it... and thinking of Derek brought the reason why Stiles was really visiting Isaac. He had told Scott that he was going to be a good friend and visit Isaac because Scott was clearly upset at how his last session with Isaac had went. So Stiles put on his best friend face and listened to everything Scott had to say, all the while he was thinking of how glorious it would be if he got his timing spot-on and arrived at the exact moment Derek exited the shower. Without a towel.

Isaac coughed pointedly, sensing that Stiles was on a different planet, and Stiles blushed deeply before launching himself into his already prepared speech. Or lecture. Whatever you want to call it.

"Scott really misses you, buddy. He wants you to know that he does care about you a lot and that you need to like stop distancing yourself. I know you're hurting, but you can't just ignore him and hurt his feelings cause of your little crush," Stiles said quickly.

Isaac let out a harsh laugh and rolled his eyes at Stiles.

"Hurt his feelings? He hurt my feelings! Not the other way around. And 'pushed him away?' – he's the one who avoids me every time he sees me in school and sends his best friend to check on me. If he really cared about me, then he'd be here right now."

Stiles sighed, sensing that this would be a lot more difficult than he'd hoped. "Will you quit voicing your opinion every two seconds and being so negative? Just listen to what I have to say, okay? And then we can talk afterwards about your feelings."

Isaac forced a smile, showing a lot more teeth than he normally would. Teeth that weren't exactly human.

"Since when have you been so annoying? Erica was right, you know. She told me how you basically ignored her when she was human and epileptic, even though she had this huge crush on you. And now you're here telling me that I have to listen to you? Well, screw you, Stiles. Because I don't care what you have to say. I've heard everything I need to, so why don't you go back to Scott and have a good night."

Stiles frowned at the mention of Erica, "What? I clearly didn't know she had a crush on me and you know that too. Before this werewolf mess, we were all nobodies. We were just normal humans who worried about irrelevant things like the result of their Chemistry test or if they would make the Lacrosse team. Now we're faced with life and death decisions nearly every freaking week and we have an alpha pack in town - incase you forgot. So sorry if your little gay-crisis isn't that high up my priority list!"

Isaac's eyes flashed amber while Stiles spoke. He couldn't believe how rude Stiles was being. It was pretty obvious that he was not being a diva or trying to create a scene, he was just trying to cope with what was happening. And he wasn't even allowed to do it in peace without being lectured.

"I'm not the one having the gay crisis," Isaac said, his voice dangerously quiet, "Scott pretty much said that he would date me... if I was a girl. He's the one having the crisis – not me. I don't care that Scott is a guy. I'm pretty sure it doesn't change the fact I love him."

_'I love him. I love him. I love __him.__ Oh crap, did I just say that aloud?'_ Isaac thought.

"Oh," was all Stiles could say. Suddenly everything felt a lot more awkward than it had ten minutes previously. Isaac's outburst about how he actually was in love with Scott kinda cemented what Stiles had been curious about for a while.

Isaac cleared his throat, "I mean, he's great and-"

"Isaac, you don't have to explain yourself to me," Stiles cut in, "God, I wish I hadn't said some of those things to you before. I thought it was like just a little crush and you were hurt because Scott freaked out. He didn't exactly tell me the full details... or I didn't really listen."

"I know Scott cares about me, Stiles. I know that... but," he shrugged, "I don't know. He loves Allison and he always will. Nothing I can do or be will ever be enough. Hell, it won't even compare to her and that's something I have to accept."

"You don't know that. They aren't together now... not really. I think she just wants a normal life, free of werewolves and anything supernatural. I don't actually blame her..." Stiles trailed off.

"I can't control when Allison decides to commit again to Scott. There's nothing I can do, really," Isaac sighed. "It is what it is."

"You don't get anywhere in life with an attitude like that, buddy. You know what? There's a party tonight at Danny's house; that's where I'm heading to now. You should come and let off a bit of steam." Stiles smiled at Isaac.

Isaac smiled back, a genuine smile forming on his lips. "I think I was wrong before. You're not actually that bad. I may actually grow to like you."

Stiles laughed, "Right back atcha, buddy. Just don't tell Scott or he may get jealous," Stiles winked at Isaac, "but you should definitely come tonight. Promise?"

Isaac looked down as he spoke, "Hmm, maybe. I'll think about it, all right?"

Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, they weren't exactly sure what to say.

"Stiles..." Isaac said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, okay," said Stiles.

"Do you believe in 'chance' or 'choice' that determines our future?" Isaac asked.

Stiles just shook his head, "Out of any question you could ask me, you're asking me a deep one?"

Isaac nodded, "I just want to know what you think."

"Hmm," said Stiles, "Okay. Well, I'm not an expert in this, but I'll give you my opinion on things. So. I'm here, today, right now, because I decided to come. I took the choice to come, all right? But, but, but, it could be a chance and God, or whatever controls our actions, if you believe in that, has already decided that this will happen. I'm not  
exactly sure, Isaac. I don't really_ know – _there's not a one hundred percent definitive answer, no one really knows for sure."

"But what do you think? Like deep down?" Isaac persisted.

"All right, well, I think that you can control certain things you do and how you make people feel. And I think that it's a mixture of both, but that everything boils down to the fact that you have to choose to do something in order for something else to happen. Do you get me?" said Stiles.

"Yes. So like, you won the lottery by chance, but you had to actually buy the ticket to win?" asked Isaac.

"Yes, very good, is that all?" said Stiles, "It's just... I have places to be, people to kiss. I mean, people to see."

Isaac chuckled, "All right, Mr Popular. I'll see you later on... maybe."

Stiles nodded and stood up, making his way for the door. He had hoped Derek was about, but there was no sign of the mysterious Alpha. Stiles left the room with a mock salute at Isaac and then popped his head back in.

"Just between us: Allison isn't exactly my favourite person on the planet."

Isaac snorted and Stiles closed the door after him and walked down the stairs and out of the apartment block, feeling a lot better than he did before he entered. There was something soothing about sorting out a problem and Stiles definitely felt like he'd done his good deed of the day. He did actually like Isaac, believe it or not, and he wanted him to be happy. Stiles also wanted his best friend to be happy and to not be ashamed of liking guys – if that was the case.

* * *

Isaac was getting changed for the party when Derek walked into his room smiling, which was a change from what he was normally doing.

"Are you going to this party tonight? At that boy Danny's house?" Derek asked innocently.

Isaac just nodded, not wanting to have a long chat with Derek. He wanted to finish getting changed and just leave, not talk and prolong the agony of anticipation.

"Well, have a good time," Derek said, "and don't be late home."

Isaac scrunched his eyebrows together, "How'd you know there was a party tonight?" he asked.

"I bumped into Stiles earlier. He, uh, mentioned it." Derek said quickly, his heartbeat faltering as he spoke.

Isaac smirked, "I see. Well, I'm going to head off now. Party time and all that..."

Isaac shut his wardrobe door and grabbed his bag of alcohol for the party. Derek raised his eyebrows at the bag, but didn't say anything. They both stood in silence for a few moments, unsure of what exactly to say. Things were still awkward between them, and Isaac still blamed Derek for the whole situation.

And yet, Isaac found himself grateful for what happened between them; because if he never moved out of Derek's place, he would never have moved in with Scott. He would have never had the experience of a proper home; he would have never unintentionally fallen in love with the boy. Isaac realised that when you're given something way beyond your greatest expectations, it's unfair to mourn when it's over. He should cherish the memories he has, not cry about the ones he could have had.

"Have a good night," Derek simply said, and Isaac walked past him and out of the apartment, closing the door softly behind him.

* * *

**_"I lay with the wolves, alone it seems. I thought I was part of you. You loved me and I froze in time. Hungry for that flesh of mine" _**

Isaac laughed at the irony of the music being played as he walked into Danny's house, crate of beer and bottle of Cactus Jacks in tow. Danny's house was massive and he caught a glimpse of the optimistic teen, with who Isaac assumed was his boyfriend, leaning against his kitchen door.

The music was loud, the people were loud, and it was definitely not Isaac's scene. But Stiles told him to be here and he hoped Stiles had a reason for him being here; otherwise he was going to leave. Isaac sniffed the air for a hint of Stiles' scent, but nope, nothing. Stiles wasn't here.

Isaac frowned and looked around him for a minute. Didn't Stiles say he was going straight to Danny's after he left his place? If so, then where was he? Isaac started walking around, looking for any sign of Stiles or anyone else from the pack. He saw Erica and Boyd together, dancing and laughing and obviously drunk. Isaac didn't want to interrupt them so he continued looking around the room. His eyes scanned the place twice before he saw a red plaid shirt and jeans combo that could only belong to Stiles.

Isaac ran over to him and patted him on the back. It was him, he could smell it. Isaac wondered why he hadn't been able to detect his scent before. Stiles turned around and pulled him into a clumsy half-hug. Someone else cleared their throat in the background and Isaac broke off the hug to spin around and face a very familiar person.

It was Derek.

Isaac just looked from Stiles to Derek in confusion for a moment before connecting the dots. Stiles was here. _With Derek. _Isaac didn't really know how to react. Should he smile, laugh, clap Stiles on the back or frown? It was a bit strange that Stiles was here with Derek of all people. Isaac thought they hated each other... or that Stiles irritated Derek at least. But you can't help who you fall for and it wasn't like either of them were sociopaths... well not completely. Isaac chuckled to himself.

"So, er, I'm guessing you did a lot more than 'bump into Stiles' earlier on today?" Isaac asked, trying not to laugh.

Derek gave Isaac a look that was along the lines of 'you're lucky we're in public'.

Stiles blushed furiously, "shut up, Isaac."

Isaac just winked and walked away, glad to see that someone was going to have a good night. Even though he felt like Stiles invited him purely because of Derek. But still, he could have his own fun, right?

* * *

Seven bottles of beer later and Isaac wasn't even tipsy. He wasn't sure if it was due to being a werewolf or due to the low alcohol content of the beer. He was hoping to get incredibly wasted and make out with someone hot enough. Since he couldn't get wasted, he was just going to have to find the hottest person at the party to make out with instead. It wasn't exactly that hard; ever since he entered Danny's house, he caught approving glances from the many girls and guys there.

_Just pick one, _Isaac told himself. This was the hard bit. None of them were five feet ten inches tall with Mexican heritage, brown hair and warm brown eyes. None of them turned into a lycanthrope on the full moon, either.

Isaac wasn't paying attention when Scott entered with Allison, so it came as a surprise when his ears picked up on Scott's voice. He spun around quickly and came face-to-face with the couple mid-kiss.

Isaac turned and ran as fast as he could, faster than he ever thought he could run. He reached the vacant bathroom and closed the door. He switched the light on and twisted the tap, splashing water over his face in an attempt to cool down. His heartbeat was erratic and he was sweating uncontrollably. The urge to shift and free himself from his human body was overbearing. Derek had told him that his anchor was his anger, but Isaac found that anger was the one thing freeing him from his human side. He didn't want to feel or be human for much longer.

He could hear the murmurs from the people in Danny's living room – "what's wrong with Isaac?" "Is he okay?" "Someone should go check on him." "Maybe he is a lightweight after all!" – and he heard Stiles voice, sonorous and persuasive above the others: "Isaac's just feeling a little bit sick; he said he wasn't feeling too well earlier."

Typical Stiles - always sorting out the mess that the werewolves landed themselves in. The human was more useful than a werewolf sometimes, Isaac thought.

Isaac could hear footsteps coming from Danny's living room. They were loud and most definitely belonged to a werewolf – Isaac just wasn't sure which one. They got louder until they reached the bathroom door and then they stopped. Someone coughed and tapped their heel on the floor and Isaac realised there were two people outside the door. There was a booming knock on the door, followed by an exasperated sigh.

"What?" came a voice that could only belong to Stiles.

The werewolf ignored Stiles and grabbed the door handle, twisting it and opening the door. Stiles, who had been leaning on the door, yelped and fell onto the hard marble floor of the bathroom.

"Dude, fragile!" He pointed to himself, "Remember?"

Isaac smirked at the honey-eyed boy and looked up to see Scott standing in front of him, an apologetic look on his face. Instantaneously Isaac had a flashback from a few months ago.

...

_Isaac bolted up from his bed, sweating and shaking and unsure of where he was. 'Just a dream, just a dream' he'd told himself. Except this one wasn't a dream, it was a memory. It was the last memory Isaac ever had of his mother, the last time Isaac ever saw her. _

_His mother was beautiful; she had long brown textured wavy hair and green eyes. That was all he could really remember of her. She had an infectious laugh and she loved to sing and to read. Reading was her favourite pastime and she would read Isaac bedtime stories every night. They started off with simple picture books for babies and progressed onto books with words and then to novels when Isaac was nine. _

_His mum died shortly before his tenth birthday. She just dropped dead one morning, the doctors had no explanation. She was a very healthy woman, she had no existing health conditions and wasn't overweight. They called it a mystery, but attributed it to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Her heart literally just died. _

_The doctors said she was probably stressed; she worked for the crime department in Beacon Hills and they'd been going through a particularly tough case. Three women had been brutally murdered in the space of a week; all women had mysteriously vanished without trace for weeks, until their mutilated bodies were found in the forest. The whole crime department had been feeling the pressure to find whoever was responsible and put an end to the horrific killings. _

_Isaac hadn't been allowed to see his mother, to say goodbye to her or to tell her how much he loved her. His dad claimed it would be too much for a young boy. Isaac's last memory of her was as she was being lowered into the ground in Beacon Hills' cemetery. _

_The beatings from his dad started soon after that. His most common phrase used would be: 'boy, you don't want me to get too stressed now. Do you?'_

_Isaac took a few deep breaths to calm himself down before a hand patted him on the back. _

_"Are you all right?" Scott had asked him. _

_Isaac just shrugged. _

_"Come here," Scott said, pulling him into a warm hug. _

_It was semi-awkward because of how tall Isaac was. Scott's forehead reached to Isaac's nose and his hair tickled Isaac's face. Isaac appreciated it, though. He liked how Scott showed his emotions with actions, rather than words. Isaac decided, instantly, that words were overrated._

_"Do you want to talk about it?" Scott had asked him softly. _

_Isaac shook his head. He didn't feel like talking about it; he didn't want Scott's pity or to burden him with it. Isaac found that people treated you differently once they knew certain things about you. He also knew that it's really hard to console someone about death because your words sound empty and meaningless to the person you're talking to. Isaac didn't want to put Scott through the downright awkwardness of trying to say something that actually has meaning. He didn't want to go through the clichéd phrases of: 'your mom is proud of you', 'she is looking over you', 'I'm so sorry'. _

_Isaac knew that his mom probably wasn't proud of him – he'd turned to lycanthropy to save himself from his father and his father had died in the process. All right, maybe his father's death wasn't completely his fault, but his father didn't use to beat him. His father wasn't born a monster; he just became one out of grief and anger. _

_Scott looked at him straight in the eye. "You're going to be all right. I know it, Isaac. You're strong." He said confidently. _

_Isaac laughed weakly, "I don't know about that." _

_"But I do," Scott said, "Whatever is hurting you now, it's all in your mind. You've got to face up to it and find closure and then, then you'll be happier. You won't get nightmares anymore, you won't be scared." _

_Isaac furrowed his eyebrows, "How do you-?"_

_"I know what you went through. Except my dad didn't really care about me at all in any way – ever. He left when I was barely able to walk and I haven't seen him since. I used to hate him when I was younger. I hated him so much that I could think of nothing better than hurting him myself for everything he did to my mother. But now, now I don't think about it as much. It doesn't hurt anymore." _

_Scott smiled sadly at Isaac. _

_"Time does heal all wounds, but not completely. They heal and fade... but they scar. And under scrutiny, you can see all our scars." _

_There was a moment of silence between the two boys. It wasn't uncomfortable – they were both contemplating things on their mind, things that they weren't so happy talking about. _

_Suddenly Scott spoke, "Would you like some Pop Tarts? There's some in the cupboard that Stiles left behind and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we ate them." _

_Isaac nodded and they both left the bathroom and headed down the stairs. For the first time in ages, Isaac had felt like a giant weight was removed from his chest. He could breathe just that little bit easier. _

_..._

"Isaac? Can you hear me?"

Scott's panicked voice greeted Isaac as his eyes snapped open. He was lying on the floor of the bathroom with both Scott and Stiles kneeling over him.

"Y-yes" Isaac breathed out.

Isaac's fingers reached out wildly, grasping at both Scott and Stiles. He wanted to make sure he was in the present day, that he wasn't actually having a flashback and that this was actually happening. Isaac's fingers brushed Scott's arm and his tattoo.

"T-tattoo" Isaac gasped, his lungs burning and the room spinning.

...

_"So I was thinking we could get Chinese tonight? Instead of Pizza? Is that okay?" Isaac asked Scott. _

_"Yeah, yeah," Scott answered. _

_Isaac knew Scott wasn't paying attention. He was staring at the curly-haired brunette hunter who was standing outside the boys' locker room. Allison. Isaac sighed. Scott was still on Planet Allison, even after everything she'd put him and the werewolves through. Scott was so invested in her that he believed everything she'd done was 'a reasonable reaction' because her mother died. _

_Maybe if Scott knew Isaac when his mother died, he would know what a reasonable reaction to a parent's death was. _

_Isaac waved his hands in front of Scott's face, "You're drooling. And it's not an attractive look on you." He smirked evilly, "I have to say, I'm not liking this whole 'stare from a distance' side of you. I didn't realise you had such a Twilight vibe." Isaac enjoyed teasing Scott sometimes. Scott knew this and pushed him in retaliation. _

_"Dude, you are such an asshole sometimes." Scott moaned, "One day you'll find this amazing girl, okay, and all you're going to want to do is be with her... or without her. If that's what she wants." _

_Isaac was leaning on his opened locker staring at Scott. And Scott was staring at Allison. He felt his face heating up as he realised how true Scott's words were. _

_Isaac recovered quickly, "Dude, you're sounding more and more like Edward Cullen as the days go on." _

_"I don't even know who Edward Cullen is," Scott shot back. _

_"That's lies and you know it. You were the one who made me watch all four Twilight films in one night." Isaac said, laughing at Scott's horrified face. _

_Isaac went back to putting on his shirt and realised, with a pang, that Scott didn't even look at him once throughout the whole conversation. _

_..._

"Isaac? Stay with me buddy!"

This time Stiles' voice greeted him as he returned to the land of consciousness. Scott was pacing the room, unsure of what to do.

"Has he been poisoned? Is it wolfsbane? Should I call Deaton?"

Scott was muttering to himself and Isaac wanted to put him out of his misery.

"He can hear you," Isaac whispered, "and I'm fine... j-just a little tired."

"Thank goodness!" Stiles breathed out a sigh of relief, "You had no idea how worried I was."

"I'm going to be all right," Isaac said simply, looking towards Scott as he said it. Scott's heartbeat blipped for a second and then calmed down, so quickly that Isaac wasn't sure if it really happened. Scott's face was blank; no emotions, nothing.

Isaac felt his eyelids drooping and his pulse slowing. He didn't fight it this time, he let his body drift into a peaceful oblivion. This time, he was met with darkness.

* * *

When Isaac woke up, for good this time, he was in his room in Scott's house with three blurred figures sitting on the bed. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Glad to see you've returned to the land of the living," Stiles said.

"How long have I been asleep for?" Isaac asked.

"Sleep being the figurative word; around eighteen hours," Stiles answered.

Isaac yawned, "What do you mean?"

This time Melissa McCall answered him, not Stiles: "You've been very restless, sweetie – you've been talking a lot. Scott said you've had a night terror before, but this... this was unlike anything I've ever seen."

"You were actually worse in the bathroom," Scott cut in, "Do you remember being in Danny's bathroom? You just bolted from his living room and locked yourself in the bathroom. Stiles and I, we got there pretty quickly and you were on the bathroom floor. It was something else. You were yelling and rolling about the place – half the time we couldn't even understand what you were saying, but in my room you've just been muttering a lot."

Isaac suddenly became very interested in the fingernails of his left hand. Of course he remembered Danny's, but he wasn't going to tell them that. He had taken one look at Scott and Allison and just couldn't handle it any longer; he had to get out of there. Isaac grimaced slightly remembering how much he probably spoke of Scott while he was unconscious.

"I, uh, can't really remember much. Like, I can remember being at Danny's, but everything else is blank from the moment I entered the bathroom," Isaac lied.

"So you don't remember talking non-stop about your feelings?" Stiles interjected. Both Scott and Melissa gave him a sharp look, but didn't say anything.

"What?" Stiles asked innocently, "I'm just trying to re-jog his memory."

"Well, you're fine now and we know why you acted like that, so there's nothing more to worry about. Deaton said you'll just be weak for a few days and then you'll be back to normal." Scott said.

"Why did I act like that?" Isaac asked.

"Wolfsbane," Stiles said, "Scott and I investigated while you were asleep and someone had put wolfsbane in the bathroom vents. Still doesn't explain why you bolted, but still..."

Isaac blushed, but no one was really paying attention.

"Oh would you look at that! Sorry guys, but I, er, have to go. I'll be back later," Stiles patted Isaac on the head and winked at Scott, before running out of the McCall house. Scott, Isaac and Melissa all exchanged confused looks.

"Well, my shift starts in twenty minutes so I should probably get going. I'll see you later, Isaac, I hope you're feeling better soon," said Melissa.

Melissa smiled at the two boys before leaving the room. It was just the two of them, just Isaac and Scott. The safety of having two other people in the room had now disappeared; they were going to have to talk. There was an uncomfortable silence – what can you say that's interesting, or even funny, when the last memory you have of the person is of laying down your feelings to them? How do you go past the awkwardness and hit the ground running when it comes to a re-friendship?

"Do you want me to leave?" Scott said quietly, interrupting Isaac's train of thought.

"What? No, of course not," Isaac said.

"Do you want to yell at me?" Scott asked.

"No! Why... what are you-" Isaac stammered.

"Really? I mean, I wouldn't blame you. I've done some pretty bad things to you," said Scott.

_We are not doing this right now, _thought Isaac. They were having one of those 'post-relationship fights about who was right', even though they never had a relationship. Well, they had a one-sided one if that kinda counted.

"Nothing too bad," Isaac reasoned, "Most of it was me over-reacting. I probably shouldn't have taken things that you said as seriously as I did. I kinda took it personally... like it was an attack on me, when it wasn't."

Scott winced slightly as Isaac spoke. The truth can hurt, even when you're the one who has been giving it for the past couple of months. Even so, Scott didn't like hearing certain things.

"I didn't mean-" He began.

"Yeah, yeah," Isaac flashed him a weak smile, "I know, okay? You just need some time to figure things out. I get it."

Scott hummed lightly, "You have no idea how much I want things to go back to normal. Like, before all of this happened. Remember that time we stayed up all night because Black Ops 2 was out that night and I pre-ordered it? So we ordered Pizza and played it for hours and we didn't go to school the next day? And my mom never found out, but Derek did and he was angry because there was a run-in with the Alpha Pack?"

Isaac nodded, "Or the time we played Truth or Dare and I dared you to eat all those chillies and you did, but you claimed your mouth was 'on fire' and you were going to die. And I laughed so hard that I started to cry." Isaac said, playing along with Scott.

Scott laughed pleasantly and continued: "What about the time you drank all that beer at that party we went to? I can't even remember the guy's name, but he was a total douche. And he was so surprised that we weren't even drunk by the end of the night that he tried to slip something in our drink, so you put it in his."

Both guys were laughing at their antics from the past, from a time where they were happy and were friends, before things screwed up. Isaac realised that most fall-outs happen because of something minor and that people have such big egos that they don't want to give in and apologise.

"The thing is, Scott, things can't go back to normal. Not yet. I still love you and I still want to be your friend, but I can't live of the crumbs of affection you give me." Isaac said.

"But, dude, it's not going to be that way!" Scott said brightly.

Isaac knew that it was; he knew that no matter what, there was always going to be this unspoken _thing _between them and that, even if they were friends again, he would never be able to act in the same way. Every little action would be analysed and thought about. Scott had Allison, but Isaac had no one. Everyone that he dated – or tried to date – wouldn't compare to Scott. It wasn't that he was 'settling' – hell, they were probably settling for him – it was that he wouldn't be able to fully commit to it. There would always be that tiny voice at the back of his head asking him: 'what would Scott have done?' and Isaac hated himself for it.

Not knowing what would have happened messes with your head.

"Hmm, I suppose," said Isaac, trying to appease Scott. He wasn't going to fight about a fight – that would be pointless.

They sat for a few hours after that, talking about meaningless things. Scott told him about what he'd done for the past few months, and Isaac told him about how much he hated Peter and his hatred of teenagers. They joked about Stiles and Derek, both of them agreeing that it was so unobvious that they should have seen it coming (but they obviously didn't). Neither of them mentioned why Isaac left, the subject was still a touchy matter for them both. Allison wasn't mentioned either; every time Scott spoke about something that happened with her, he would substitute Stiles' name in, instead of hers. Isaac recognised when Scott was doing it, but he understood so he didn't say anything.

Scott was in the middle of an incredibly long story that involved Stiles and Danny and a gay bar when Isaac felt himself becoming overcome with tiredness. He let his eyelids close and concentrated on Scott's voice, nothing else. He noticed how nice Scott's voice sounded when he was trying not to laugh himself, and how he spoke of Stiles with such adoration and disbelief at the same time. Several minutes later and Isaac was asleep. Scott looked over to the curly-haired werewolf and sighed, before pulling the bed sheets over him and leaving the room.

Scott realised, in that moment, that things with Isaac were easy; easier than they would ever be with Allison. And Scott realised how he loved Allison, but he didn't really like her; and that he really liked Isaac, but he didn't love him. Scott spent the time, waiting on Isaac to wake up, thinking of how that could be possible, and how much it sucked that everyone always expected him to be the hero, to make the right decision.

Scott remembered something he once told Isaac: "I promise that I will never hurt you," and suddenly, his decision was made.

* * *

The next few weeks passed quickly, but happily. Isaac moved back in with the McCalls after endless pleading from Melissa. He'd relented and told Derek that he wasn't sure when he'd be back, but to keep his room for him. Peter laughed when Isaac told him he was moving back with Scott, and told him to 'watch out for things that go bump in the night'. Isaac just shot him a dark look.

The whole 'wolfsbane in the vents of Danny's house' saga was blamed on the Alpha Pack. Ethan, who Danny apparently got off with, was there and all the werewolves decided that he was probably the one who put it there. The incidents from that night were mostly forgotten about and never spoken of again.

For Isaac, every night was a great night. It was coming up to summer and all their exams had finished, so they could play video games and eat pizza and not worry about how little sleep they were going to have. Everything went back to normal, without mention of The Horrible Three Months. Allison and Scott broke up for good not long after Isaac moved back in. Isaac never really found out what happened between them, but he preferred not to ask. Isaac thought that maybe it was better that he didn't know.

Isaac and Stiles' friendship grew and they hung out a lot more when Scott was working. Their friendship grew because they finally could talk to each other about things; they weren't just friends because of Scott. Scott came home to them, one night, watching '500 Days of Summer' and talking about extremely personal stuff that Scott did not want to know. Ever. All three of them swore to never speak of that night again, but Isaac and Stiles still kept up their 'girly nights' as Scott called them. They just didn't tell him.

Isaac's nightmares were semi-occasional after moving back to the McCalls for the second time. There were a few nights that he woke up, sweaty and shaking, and Scott met him in the bathroom, seconds later, every time. Isaac felt that Scott was overcompensating for everything that had happened between them, but he didn't want to say anything incase Scott took offence.

Everything continued without a single blip and Isaac was so confused to why things were going in such good fortune for him. Normally things would have screwed up by now, or he would have woken up. Scott had once told him: "When it comes to you, you can do whatever you want to do. It's just other people, Isaac, which let you down." Isaac was really trying his hardest and so was Scott, so was everyone around him, and, for the first time, Isaac realised that Stiles was right – there wasn't one definitive answer, but it was both chance and choice that determine how things happen.

Isaac chose to put the past behind him, to find closure, and he took a chance on other people. He was betting on the dependent variable to pay off. So far, it was paying off.


End file.
